Ask the parenting pros

“Help! My kids want everything on their holiday list!”

It happens every year: the catalog arrives, the ads start rolling, and suddenly your child wants everything. From sparkly shoes to gadgets they’ll forget by New Year’s, the “I want” season can test even the calmest parent’s patience.

But here’s the good news: This moment is actually a powerful teaching opportunity. Research shows that children who are supported in practicing gratitude tend to develop stronger emotional regulation and resilience (American Psychological Association, 2023). In other words: handling holiday wish lists with empathy now helps build confidence that lasts.

So, how do you keep the magic of giving alive—without giving in to every ask? Read on.

Action Plan:

Turning Wish Lists Into Gratitude Lists

Lead with curiosity, not correction

When your child rattles off their list, resist the urge to say “You don’t need that.” Instead, get curious. Ask what they love about it, or how they imagine using it. You’ll learn what’s driving the desire—novelty, belonging, creativity—and open space for reflection instead of resistance.

Teach the difference between wanting and valuing

Wanting something new is normal. But help kids notice how wanting feels versus how appreciating feels. Try saying: “It’s exciting to want new things. What’s something you already have that makes you feel happy?” Shifting focus to gratitude builds confidence from the inside out.

Co-create a mindful wish list

Turn list-making into a joint activity. Have them circle their top three “most special” items, then balance with non-material wishes—like baking day with you or a playdate with a friend. It keeps the joy but adds perspective.

Reframe giving, not just getting

Encourage kids to think about what they might give—whether it’s a handmade card, a passed-along toy, or help around the house. Studies show that generosity boosts happiness, even in young children. Plus, it helps them see holidays as connection, not competition.

Model gratitude in real time

Kids mirror our energy. Let them see you express gratitude out loud—thanking a store clerk, appreciating something you already own, or pausing before you buy. When gratitude is visible, it becomes contagious.

Above all, remember this:

Kids don’t need every gift on their list to feel loved—they need to feel heard. When we listen with empathy and teach gratitude with warmth, we give them something better than a toy: the confidence to know they already have enough.