Ask the parenting pros
“Help! My kids fight me over hand-me-downs.”
Whether it’s worrying about looking “different,” wanting what their friends have, or resisting anything that isn’t brand-new, preloved clothes can become a battleground. According to a 2023 Developmental Psychology study, kids as young as six use clothing to signal identity and belonging. No wonder they dig in when it feels like someone else is picking for them—or when it doesn’t match what their peers are wearing. So, how do you get kids excited about preloved style (without a power struggle)? Read on.
Action Plan:
Making Preloved Feel Personal (and Fun)
Let them take the lead
Shopping secondhand shouldn’t feel like a punishment. When kids help pick their own preloved items, it flips the script from “hand-me-down” to “hand-picked.” Let them scroll the site with you, choose favorites by color or vibe, and add pieces to a wish list. They’re more likely to wear what they helped find—and love it, too.
Emphasize the treasure-hunt factor
A 2023 YouGov survey found that 64% of parents say their kids get excited when they feel like they’ve “discovered” something themselves. Even little ones can appreciate the thrill of spotting something unexpected. Frame it like a treasure hunt: not “used,” but rare.
Add some story magic
Hand-me-downs come with a past—and a future. Did those boots go on a forest adventure? Was that sweater part of a big sister’s first day of school? Little ones love a good origin story. Make it a game: let them name the item, write where they wore it, or draw it in action. Suddenly, it’s not someone else’s—it’s theirs.
Normalize “different” as a good thing
For some kids, the hesitation isn’t about the clothes—it’s about standing out. That’s especially true in early elementary years when peer comparison runs high. Help them reframe “different” as “cool,” and remind them that being first to wear something unexpected is a kind of superpower. Bonus: you’re also helping build self-confidence that lasts longer than any trend.
Mix and match
If your child’s not ready to go full-preloved, start small. Add secondhand pieces alongside tried-and-true favorites: a vintage jacket with their go-to jeans, or a graphic tee under a favorite hoodie. Ease matters. Let the new-to-them pieces blend in naturally—and soon enough, they’ll be reaching for them on their own.
Above all, remember this:
When kids help pick preloved pieces, they’re not settling—they’re choosing. And in doing so, they’re building confidence, saving resources, and creating memories that brand-new can’t buy.
preloved picks they won’t say no to
